Monday, June 15, 2009

Dating in Sykkylven - a step by step comparison with regular dating

This is a lengthy post. There are many complicated steps to the Sykkylven dating process.

Most people find dating interesting, educational and heart warming. The ones that disagree are normally disgruntled people who would nothing more than go on a date, but aren't asked because of being to grumpy. People of small towns like Sykkylven are no different. The difference is how these people from towns like Sykkylven date.

For a starting point, let's take a look at the normal dating practice I've come acquainted to while growing up in a big city:
  1. Discover person you fancy
  2. Say hello to person and:
    a. Get confirmation
    b. Get rejection
  3. Go for a picknik/stroll/ice cream/anything you can talk over to figure things out.
  4. a. Get to know each other.
    b. Discover new person.
The actions above take place over 2 days - 3 at most. Let's take the same process and apply it to Sykkylven. Before we start I want you to keep in mind that Sykkylven is composed of 7500 people. This loosely translates into 150 suitors for each person. A lot less if your gay or lesbian. Given that you would probably use some extra time on each person you meet to make the most of it.
  1. Discover person you fancy
  2. Talk to locals to get important detail about social stature, income, car, where they live, how the person dress and if he/she prefer wholegrain or white bred.
  3. Stalk person a bit if interesting attributes
  4. Ask around so to position yourself at a social event the person is likely to attend
  5. Casually ignore the person for a while at the event
Here comes a breaking point: Follow eider or a; for something lasting or b; for one night stands.
  1. a. Have a few drinks
    b. Get hammered
  2. a. Engage in small talk
    b. Throw yourself at person
  3. a. Start talking to someone else in stead
    b. Start getting black outs
  4. a. Wait for a week or so
    b. Wake up, find you clothes and leave. End of b.
Now that the casual fling bit is over we'll proceed with the real deal. Getting to know the person we sort of like but know nothing about after 6-7 weeks of hey/hello. An average step in this guide is presumed to take 2-3 days to complete. So we are now approximately at day 20:
  1. Figure out where person might be at next social event.
  2. Don't talk to person outside social events, you don't want to appear interested
  3. Skip the social event, better wait 2 weeks before seeing person again.
  4. Talk a little bit at next social event with/without alcohol involved and make vague arrangement about something within the next few weeks.
  5. Don't exchange numbers. Don't confirm dates.
  6. Play hard to get. Ignore person if contacted.
  7. Call person a slut/player (behind their back) for loosing interest/giving up.
On average this process takes 2-3 months. I'm used to the 3 days action described at the top of this post, so I usually have no idea what's going on at any time in this process. But here's a gem: most locals feels this process is just as retarded as I do. Yeah, you read that right. They think it's to slow and dumb, so they date outside of Sykkylven ... OK. Reality check. Please.

2 comments:

Marianne said...

I find dating confusing, bizarre and down right demoralizing.

Cbastus said...

The last one there is a bit sad, the other ones I totally agree with.

All the small unwritten rules are hard enough to understand in one culture, when you change scenery it all gets jumbled around and you have to figure it out all over.

Could the trick be to find someone that is equally confused?

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